The power of the Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride.
Someone asked me over the weekend why I am so passionate about the DGR?
I am sure we all support many charities. I know I have, over the years I have organised events for the Bobby Moore Fund, Cancer Research, Macmillan, British Heart foundation. In addition I’ve donated to many more including the RNLI, MIND, Guide Dogs for Blind, British Heart foundation, Save the Children and so on.

But what makes the Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride so different, is it is personal, it affects the people around me. People I drink and laugh with.

Men’s health is finally receiving the attention it deserves. The stigma surrounding breast cancer and smear testing is all but gone, and thanks to increased awareness, we’re making progress with men’s health issues too. Prostate cancer is the leading cause of cancer related deaths among men. 1 in 7 will be affected. Next time you’re in a crowd, take a moment to consider how alarming that statistic is.

Men often struggle to talk about their problems, perhaps due to an ingrained belief that they must provide and protect. While some may view this as an outdated mindset, humanity itself is ancient, and I wonder if this instinct is embedded in our DNA.

The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride creates a perfect setting for meaningful conversations. Men, tweed, and motorcycles, it doesn’t get much more masculine than that.

Running a pub, being amongst my customers, I’m in an elevated position to encourage men to speak openly about prostate cancer, and get tested. Unfortunately, many tests reveal positive results. The good news is that these men are now receiving life saving treatments. But you don’t need to run a pub to do this, we all have family, work colleges, mates, drinking buddies and sports partners. As with most health issues, early detection is vital.

Even better if you live or work near Woking, Surrey, bring a proof of your appointment to The Olive Tree Pub, in Sutton Green and claim a free pint on me. Why? because it might save your life and I need your continued custom, see it as an investment in both our futures.

---

MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH AND SUICIDE PREVENTION
Too many men die by their own hand

Globally, we lose one man to suicide every minute of every day. That’s half a million men every year. While the issue of suicide is deeply complex, we do know that helping men build stronger social connections can improve mental health and reduce suicide risk.

Despite this complexity, we should not hesitate to try and start conversations. Although I’m not a qualified mental health professional, from my experience behind the bar, I’ve been able to help customers, and even a stranger last year, open up simply by trusting my instincts after observing them throughout the evening. Obviously that comes with practice but as with prostate cancer you don’t need to run a pub to influence others.

My observation and advice is this: a simple conversation can begin to change someone’s life, perhaps even save it. Don’t be afraid to try and back off if it feels awkward . Here are six things to consider:

• Ask. Start by asking how they’re feeling. It’s worth mentioning any changes you’ve picked up on. Like spending more time at the bar or they’ve gone quiet in the group chat. “How you doing you’ve seemed a bit quiet recently”
• Listen. Give them your full attention, no distractions. Let them know you’re hearing what they’re saying and you’re not judging.
• Encourage action. Are you under more stress than normal at work, maybe speak to your boss about it. If it’s just generally being down suggest they speak to their wife or someone else they trust. If it seems they have felt low for some time suggest they chat to their doctor.
• Check in. Suggest you catch up soon. This helps to show that you care; plus, you’ll get a feel for whether they’re feeling any better.
• Don’t push it. Gentle, subtle, casual. Remember stress is probably the cause of their problems, don’t add to it.
• Hand on shoulder. I know this may sound odd, just place your hand on their shoulder as you say “take care see you soon” It is a powerful, non-verbal gesture of connection that has been found to have a profound psychological effect on the recipient. It is generally understood as a sign of empathy, support, encouragement, and comfort.

---

The world has become increasingly insular, yet as a community we still have the power to do immense good simply by looking out for one another. It starts with something very simple: conversation, and not just with family and friends.

Strike up a chat with the chap sitting on his own at the bar, or the older gentleman you pass in the street every morning. A few words can mean more than we realise.

We hear more and more about people struggling with mental health. Personally, I believe part of the reason is that we simply don’t talk like we used to. Too often we sit staring at our phones, perhaps even reading this very page, or walking around with headphones on, shut off from the world around us.

We need to reconnect.

Even supermarkets encourage you to use self-checkout now. I refuse. I want to say hello to the person on the till, ask how they are, how their day is going. Those small human moments matter.

One of our best customers is a middle-aged chap who first came into the pub, sat quietly in the corner with his laptop and kept himself very much to himself. These days he rarely makes it past the bar. He chats, laughs, and his family have become part of the pub community. A while back he told me he genuinely feels much better for it.

That’s what places like the local pub can do.

The decline of the rural pub isn’t just a business issue it’s a social one. Pubs have always been places where people connect, where conversations happen naturally. Take that away and where does the widowed gentleman go for a chat? Where do people who live alone find a friendly face?

I could go on, clearly I already have, so I’ll end with a simple challenge:

Each day, say hello to someone you don’t know.

Let’s see what happens.
Thank you.

.